Grace Cathedral

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“For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and to forfeit his life?” (Mk. 7).

What does it mean to lose our life in order to save it? For years our friends Kate and Rob seemed to have it all. They were warm, intelligent, wealthy, beautiful and kind. They had good jobs, good friends, lived near Kate’s family and were happy. Kate had always wanted to have children of their own and Rob didn’t. But she agreed to compromise and worked with children at a nearby school.

Then last summer after having been married over twenty years Rob told Kate that he had been reading about polyamory online. He started quoting anthropologists who said that monogamy was unnatural. He said that he had missed out on something and wanted to start sleeping with other women. Kate felt inadequate, humiliated and ashamed. She could not face the prospect of telling anyone about what was happening. The town they lived in was too small for Rob to do this without everyone knowing.

And so leaving his wife behind Rob moved to a city far away. And now a year later they have realized that there is no way for him to come home again. For the sake of his fantasy about unconventionality and freedom he has lost the life he had. Their shared friends, the everyday joys, balance, companionship, happiness and self-respect is all gone. No matter how desperately he might want it back he has lost his life.

What fantasies threaten your life? What ideas of success or perfection are destroying or diminishing you? We might also ask about the fantasies that undermine our common life. In the presidential election debate this week, despite being corrected, Donald Trump falsely stated that immigrants were eating pets in Springfield, Illinois as if scapegoating poor people would make this nation great.[1]

We all know people who overturn reality for the sake of a fantasy. One might say that Jesus does the opposite. He helps us to cherish reality, to protect it from the dangers of the illusory. His words even today can keep us from losing what matters most.

Like any good student the disciple Peter must have felt pride when Jesus confirmed that he was right in calling him the Christ, the Annointed One (Mk. 8). Peter and the disciples and perhaps we too share a fantasy. We want Jesus to be Christ the King without having to be betrayed, without suffering, without the cross. Along with this we want Jesus to simply elevate us over everyone else so that we can be honored without having accomplished much. We want to save our life without sacrificing anything or prioritizing what is good.[2]

Jesus warns us about gaining the world and losing our life in the process. This morning I want to talk about two ways that Jesus teaches us to cherish reality, to value what really matters, what leads to lasting joy, which John’s Gospel calls “fullness of life.”

1. The first thing that Jesus shows us is that we are spiritual beings with a spiritual life. People lose what is most important when they forget this. People around us forget that they are spiritual beings for different reasons. They might recognize that really believing in God is not just something that happens in our mind but obliges us to change how we live.

Others lose their life because they have put something else in the place of God. It might be money, success, art, creativity, popularity, one’s own uniqueness, or just our habitual ways of acting. Idols are not little statutes. They are the fantasies and desires we put in place of God.

Many people (including my friend Rob) lose their life simply because they cannot imagine that there can be more to existence than they are currently experiencing. They do not see a way for believing in the mystery, for experiencing the holiness of existence. They haven’t encountered a picture of faith that could make sense for them.

There is a Tibetan story about a great king who had four wives.[3] His first wife was the oldest. She loved him very deeply and although she was profoundly loyal, he neglected her. The second wife was thoughtful. She was a great confidante and advisor to him. The third wife was ravishingly beautiful. At the peak of her physical beauty, he worried about her faithfulness. The fourth wife was the youngest. The king treated her like the baby of the family. He always gave her expensive gifts.

As the end of his life approached the king knew he was going to die. He went to the fourth wife and said, “I am going over to the land of death. Will you come with me?” This wife, the youngest, simply replied, “No,” and walked off. He asked the third wife, the beautiful one, if she would accompany him to the land of death. She said, “Of course not. I’m going to marry a new husband.”

The king asked the second wife the same thing. Although she promised to attend his funeral, she refused to go with him. Finally the king came to his first wife, the oldest and most faithful one. He said, “Will you accompany me into the land of death.” The faithful woman replied, “I have always walked with you. I will follow you wherever you go.” The king wished that he had taken better care of her while he lived.

The point of the story is that we all have four wives. The fourth wife, the youngest, is our body. No matter how much attention we give to it, ultimately the disabled rights activists are correct. We are only temporarily abled. We are all on the road to disability and ultimately death. The third wife, the untrustworthy one is our wealth and possessions, which in many cases may be even more unreliable than our body. The second wife, the confidante, represents our friends and family. No matter how much they may love us they can only accompany us so far.

The first wife is our spiritual self. We may neglect this aspect of our life but it is ultimately what matters most. In The Gospel of Mark the word Jesus uses is psyche or soul. Psychology is literally the study of the soul. Jesus says that we can gain the world but lose this soul. We can gain money, health, a good reputation, etc. all at the expense of our spiritual life.

2. A second way that Jesus teaches us to cherish reality is his reminder to act as if God rather than our own ego is a the center of things.

As a teenager I remember reading C.S. Lewis’ book Mere Christianity. In one chapter he asks, “Is Christianity Hard or Easy?”[4] The short answer is that the whole point of all Christianity: the Bible, art, music, clergy, the ancient writings and intricate theologies, the worship, churches like this great cathedral and everything else – the goal of all this is to make us more like Christ. Lewis says that if this doesn’t happen it is all simply a waste.

But being like Christ is a challenge. We want to hold something back, to invite God only into certain parts of our life. It is kind of like the spiritual equivalent of having a secret bank account hidden from your spouse. But God does not want our good intentions or our prayers or our time or our money. God does not insist on a strict moral code. God does not want a clearly defined area of your life.

God wants all of you. And this is both hard and easy. It is hard because it means taking up the cross. It means giving our whole life over to God. But it is easy because we were made for this and no half measure could be enough. We were created to give our life over to something, and if it is not God then it will be something that ultimately will distort and destroy us. We give our life to God and God gives us a new self.

Søren Kierkegaard (1813-1855) wrote one of the strangest books in the history of the Christian church. He invented a fictional character Johannes de Silentio and then wrote the entire book from that person’s perspective. Silentio himself does not have faith but he tries to understand it from the outside.

Silentio repeats the question “Who can understand Abraham?” Abraham, the Old Testament prophet who was ready to sacrifice his son at God’s request, is for Silentio the symbol representing all people who believe. Silentio contrasts what he calls the Knight of Infinite Resignation with the Knight of Faith. The Knight of Infinite Resignation is acutely conscious of what he is losing. He reluctantly prepares to sacrifice everything for God but does not really trust God. He seems bowed down and nearly broken by the weight of the infinite.

Silentio contrasts this with the Knight of Infinite Faith. Silentio cannot believe it, “Good Lord… he looks like a tax collector… I examine his figure from tip to toe to see if there might not be a cranny through which the infinite was peeping through. No! he is solid through and through… he belongs entirely to the world… He tends to his work… He goes to church… if one did not know him, it would be impossible to distinguish him from the rest of the congregation.”[5]

“In the afternoon he walks to the forest. He takes delight in everything he sees, in the human swarm, in the new buses, in the water of the Sound… he is interested in everything that goes on… and this with the nonchalance of a girl of sixteen… This man has… a sense of security in enjoying [finiteness] as though the finite life were the surest thing of all.”

How do you describe the joy and lightness one feels when you are really in Christ? It is almost impossible to put in words. Today we begin our stewardship season when we make our promise to financially support the Cathedral. It has become one of my favorite times of year. Let me tell you why. Because each week we hear from an ordinary member of the congregation about the good things that God is doing in that person’s life. We see people who do not believe or give grudgingly but with joy. Their celebration is contagious, their faith builds up our own.

What fantasy threatens you? How is Jesus helping you to cherish reality? We have a spiritual life that we discover when we are able to let go of our ego. We have discovered a secret joy in our life together in Christ.

[1] Donald Trump said, “We have the biggest rallies, the most incredible rallies in the history of politics. That’s because people want to take their country back. Our country is being lost. We’re a failing nation. And it happened three and a half years ago. And what, what’s going on here, you’re going to end up in World War 3, just to go into another subject. What they have done to our country by allowing these millions and millions of people to come into our country. And look at what’s happening to the towns all over the United States. And a lot of towns don’t want to talk — not going to be Aurora or Springfield. A lot of towns don’t want to talk about it because they’re so embarrassed by it. In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs. The people that came in. They’re eating the cats. They’re eating — they’re eating the pets of the people that live there. And this is what’s happening in our country. And it’s a shame. As far as rallies are concerned, as far — the reason they go is they like what I say. They want to bring our country back. They want to make America great again. It’s a very simple phrase. Make America great again. She’s destroying this country. And if she becomes president, this country doesn’t have a chance of success. Not only success. We’ll end up being Venezuela on steroids.” https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542

[2] The twentieth century theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945) was hanged in a Nazi prison camp not long before the arrival of the allies. In his book The Cost of Discipleship he writes, “cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline. Communion without confession… Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ…” Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship tr. R. H. Fuller (NY: Macmillan, 1959) 44-5.

[3] From the play by Sarah Ruhl, The Oldest Boy. Also, http://theunboundedspirit.com/the-four-wives-an-inspiring-old-tibetan-story/

[4] C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (NY: Macmillan, 1952) 166-70.

[5] Søren Kierkegaard, Fear and Trembling and The Sickness Unto Death tr. Walter Lowrie (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1973) 49-51.